Experiences written by Dawn

I want to start by saying all children are different, of course they are, I want to share my personal experience, and hopefully it might help some other parents.

Having a child with dyslexia and masking.

Having dyslexia myself, I feel that I could relate more to my daughter and when she had been struggling with school work, she was great in that she would let me know what was bothering her.

It always seemed to come out when she was just about to go to bed, or I would notice she was grumpy when she came home from school. At bedtime, I suppose it was that worrying and thinking about more of the same the next day at school.

When I went into the school and mentioned some of her behaviour to the teachers, they were always surprised as she was always calm and collected at school. Sophie had a great way of masking her feelings and emotions at school, and then it would all come out when she was home.

There were a lot of outbursts. When listening to my daughter's concerns and worries of the day, I would understand why she felt that way.

The most important thing is to listen and be there when they want you to listen. You may find your child goes around in circles when explaining their worries. This is due to them slowly processing through their thoughts and processing it themselves. Bottling all that emotion up is not good for their mental state. You do have to have much more patience with a child with neurodiversity.

Comparing your child to others

I know most parents do compare their child to other children, what age they started to crawl, stand and walk, etc. However, try not to. I was constantly worried about Sophie's reading age and how far behind she was, I had friends with children who were much more advanced. It was upsetting and got to me. You have to realise that having a child with dyslexia, they are on their own journey and improvements on their journey are their wins. Recently my daughter's reading has improved and I can see she is reading more words, which are the goals we aim for. Celebrating all the wins is so important too.

Dyslexic Exhaustion and confidence

Anyone with Dyslexia, if you are at school, or if you're working in an office, you are working so much more than an average person without any neurodiversity. For example, the task of writing a story for Sophie is so exhausting, and afterwards she would need a break. This is normal. Having a whole day of school is mentally draining, so expecting Sophie to take part in school clubs was optimistic. We did try, and it just didn't happen. We enrolled, but the physical act of going back out the house after a full day of school was very hard. I found the later the activity, the harder it was to engage her to go. For some, having after-school clubs, or clubs on the weekend, is confidence building and works well, which I understand, and I think maybe Sophie may want to do more when she is older and can navigate her dyslexia more.

Luckily at her school, there are classes she can take within the school day. Which gives her that break from the classrooms and something she enjoys doing. It has been a huge hit. My daughter loves her music and started with guitar lessons, she loves to express herself with music. Sophie has been learning the guitar for nearly 2 years now. Recently there was an opportunity for singing lessons too. She jumped at the chance, Sophie can listen to a song a few times and picks the words up so quickly. I think the physical act of singing is a great way of using a different part of the brain.

Support in school

Before my daughter had the diagnosis of dyslexia, she was already getting support within school. There were one-to-one sessions for Phonics and reading. When we had the formal diagnosis, it outlined lots of recommendations for her. It is so important you engage with the school along the way. Get them on board. Trying out what works and what doesn't work. To find the best fit for your child. Regular meetings with the school are so important as the child moves through school, their needs will change and the approach may need to be adapted too. If you free your child from not getting the support they need, you need to push this further.